Helping Children Develop Impulse Control

Excitement, joy, anger, frustration, and disappointment are all part of growing up. Learning how and when to show these emotions is known as impulse control. Impulse control helps children make and keep friends. Children who can control their anger and frustration, and use words to express their feelings, are likely to be able to make and keep friends. And making and keeping friends can boost self-esteem and school success.

Parents can encourage the development of impulse control during preschool years in the following ways:

·         Suggest words that your child can use to say how she feels. If your child gets mad while playing a game, encourage her to use words to show her anger, such as “That really makes me mad!” or “I don’t’ like it when that happens.”

·         Make it clear that hurting others is not allowed. When your child gets mad playing a game and pushes or hits another child, take him aside and remind him that hurting others is not allowed.

·         Help your child think of new ways to solve problems. When your child has a disagreement with another child, suggest solutions such as taking turns or sharing.

·         Respond to your child’s misbehavior with words. When you tell your child the reasons behind rules and explain the consequences for misbehavior, you help her develop inner controls on her behavior.

·         Model self-control when dealing with stress or frustration. Your child learns many behaviors from observing you. When you model self-discipline and self-control, your child will learn to follow your example.