Parents are Human

Parents sometimes think they have to be right all the time. Parents are human; we can make mistakes, and we have feelings, too. We can get angry, upset, frustrated, depressed. We can say and do the “wrong” things sometimes. Why not accept this as part of living, and go on from there?

Instead of trying to be perfect, and live up to an ideal image of a parent, why not admit to yourself and your kids that you make mistakes sometimes just like everyone else? Sharing your feelings with your children helps them to see adults more realistically, and gives them a more accurate model of adult life.

Learn to apologize to your children when necessary. Teach your children how to admit their mistakes - a difficult (if not impossible) task for children. Teach them how to correct a wrong if this is necessary or possible and talk about a plan to prevent the same mistake from happening again.

Play

Adults tend to look at play as the opposite of work. You may have heard yourself say, "Stop playing and get to work!" However, children need play in their daily lives to learn better, grow stronger, and develop positive social skills. Through play, children learn many things about themselves and others. They learn about the properties of matter and motion, feelings and relationships, language and communication.

How can you, as an adult, help your children learn through and enjoy play? The first step is to provide a safe environment where your child is free to explore. Make sure that things that might break are put away. Toys are enriching for children, but they don't need to be expensive or complicated. A child's imagination is a powerful force that can be energized with a few simple items, such as a few dress-up clothes that transform a youngster into a dancer, a ball player, a teacher, a superhero, or mom or dad at work. Other items that are especially interesting to children are play dough, crayons, beads for stringing, picture books, and sand and water. Let them play with boxes for hiding in, pots and pans for banging, balls for throwing or rolling, or a doll for nurturing.

Don't be afraid of unstructured time for quiet play or other activities that spark the child's interest. Children need time where nothing is planned so they can use their imagination. Also, be sure to turn off the TV so children can learn to entertain themselves.

Remember that play is fun! Encourage your child's play and join in!

Source: Suzanna Smith for Family Album Radio, University of Florida Extension

Parenting Multi-racial Children

As multi-racial families become more prevalent in our culture, many challenges remain in raising multi-racial children. For example, children may grow up dealing with glares and comments from peers and adults who reject their family background. How can parents help their multiracial children thrive in their community

Researchers, educators, and practitioners working with multi-racial children suggest that parents follow several guidelines. First, they recommend that parents be open in the family about race and cultures. They can do this by encouraging their child's natural curiosity about differences and answering questions about the child's own background.

Parents can locate books and movies about multi-racial families and that "portray multi-racial individuals as positive role models". The family can attend different cultural events in the community and become familiar with the language, customs, and culture of all family members.

Families can also live in a diverse community where there is less sense of being "different". They can try to meet other multi-racial families and form support networks. Parents can also look into the local school system's training for teachers and counselors and encourage programs that increase understanding of multiracialism, or select schools that emphasize diversity as part of their program.

Like all children, multi-racial children "need to feel supported" and "nourished" "in their everyday environments" Parents, teachers, and extended family can have important roles to play in providing this nourishment.

Sources: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 1999.