Warning Signs of Anorexia

With concerns about childhood obesity on the rise, the plight of young people with eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa may not be on many people's minds. However, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, between 5 and 10 million people, including 1% of American teens, have an eating disorder. Anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder characterized by excessive weight loss and severely distorted body image, is one of the most common psychiatric diagnoses in young women.

Often parents and friends fail to recognize warning signs of anorexia. Teens with anorexia may comment about feeling "fat" or overweight, although they actually are losing weight. They may become preoccupied with food, calories, fat grams, and dieting. Parents may find it difficult to get them to participate in family meals, and when they do they tend to eat very little, and will chew excessively and rearrange food on their plate. Teens with anorexia will often withdraw from friends, family, and activities, and may exercise for hours at a time.

Early identification and treatment of anorexia nervosa is essential to avoid serious health effects and even death. Parents who suspect that their teen has an eating disorder should ask their family physician or pediatrician for a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist. Treatment usually involves a team of physicians, therapists, and nutritionists who provide counseling, nutrition therapy, and medication. The most important thing that family and friends can offer a person dealing with anorexia is unconditional love.

Source:  Linda Bobroff, professor, Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida

Some Notes on Your Adolescent’s Behavior

The adolescent years (12 to 17) are the in-between years when a pre-teen or teen is neither a child nor an adult. These are the years of many physical and emotional changes which cause confusion and frustration for both parent and adolescent.

These are exciting years for the young person seeking independence. They can also be scary years for the adolescent who has to give up the security of childhood, and take on the responsibilities of young adulthood.

The adolescent stage can take a long time. It’s a tough job; the teenager needs the help and understanding of his parents if he/she is going to emerge as a responsible and caring person.

Misunderstandings can sometime make it hard for parents and teenagers to get together during the adolescent years. Your child, who is trying to gain a new sense of individuality and independence, may reject your help and reach out to his or her friends. The teen may view her parents as adults who are trying to hold her back, tell her what to do, and restrict her freedom.

Parents may also be confused or frightened by the sudden changes in their adolescent. They may be impatient with this new challenge to their authority. They may be upset with her changing moods. They may worry about his activities with his friends - especially since he is less willing to tell his parents what he feels, where he is going, who he is with, and what he is doing.

Think of adolescent growth as a puzzle, although each piece is different, each stage builds on the previous one. When the last piece is snapped in place, you have the satisfaction of knowing you helped to create a beautiful, unique and wonderful human being.

Friends during Early Adolescence

If you have a son or daughter between the ages of 10 and 17, you probably have heard, "But Mom, Dad, all my friends do, have, or wear…" something you don't want them to do, have, or wear. During the early teen years, the need to fit in with peers is stronger than at any other age. And as friendships become closer, peers have more influence.

Parents may worry that their children's friends, especially new ones, might be a bad influence or that they'll fall into the "wrong crowd." But you can help your young teen develop healthy friendships.

Keep in mind that peer pressure can be positive. Help your child choose friends whose values, activities, and behaviors are consistent with your family's. Get to know your child's friends and their parents.

Make sure your child is in a safe environment after school. At some time in the young teen's schedule, allow some down time with friends in a safe place with adult supervision. This helps young teens learn important social skills.

Talk with your young adolescent about making good choices and resisting pressure to disobey rules or values. Teach her or him how to get out of a dangerous or inappropriate situation.

Show your child what a good friendship is. It may be simply listening to a family member or friend who needs to talk something over. Children who see their parents treat each other and their friends with kindness and respect have a head start on learning how to develop healthy friendships for their early teen years.

Teen's Developmental Tasks

As your children enter their teen years, they begin a physical and emotional journey that will bring them into adulthood, and parents can play an important role in helping them establish who they are.

Teenagers begin to interact with each other in more adult ways as they mature. Experts at the University of Florida say this is linked to physical development and that peer groups may change during the teen years as they grow at different rates. While their bodies are changing, teens also are learning to accept their appearance.

Sexual maturity also occurs during the teen years. Teens begin to define what it means to be male or female, though most conform to society's definitions of gender. UF researchers say teens often confuse sexual feelings with intimacy and don't get into long-term relationships until later years.

Another teen process many of us are familiar with is establishing independence from parents and other adults. Although many Americans do not gain economic independence until after long schooling, it's during the teen years that they begin to consider careers and financial independence.

Teens also begin to determine their own values and beliefs, although research shows these are usually based on their parents' values and beliefs. They also begin to work towards socially responsible behavior, such as employment or marriage. So while parents may feel overwhelmed by the tide of what feels like counter-assaults on what they've taught their children, it's important to remember they still have tremendous influence.

Source:  Family Album Radio, University of Florida Extension

Teens and Extra Curricular Activities

Ask any “Soccer Mom” where she spends her time, and she’ll tell you – in the car! Extra curricular activities can take up every evening and most of the weekend, and parents may find themselves asking why make such an effort? As a “Volleyball and Softball Mom,” I’ve spent plenty of hours driving an athlete to and from practice and tournaments. I’ve spent even more hours sitting in the bleachers! Was it worth it? Definitely! YES.

While a great deal of research has pointed to the benefit of youth activities – including sports, cultural activities and community organizations, a recent study asked teens to describe their own growth experience in extra curricular activities. The teens participating in the study reported that their extra curricular activities helped them in many ways. As they tried new things, teens learned more about themselves.

They developed personal initiative by learning to set goals they could achieve, working hard and persevering, managing their time and taking responsibility for themselves. The teens also reported that they learned to manage their feelings, especially anger, anxiety and stress.

They developed feelings of loyalty and friendship with peers, even those outside of their existing social network. Additionally they learned not only to work as a team, but also to develop leadership skills. Finally, they also developed an understanding of how their communities operate and enjoyed support from coaches, leaders and community members.

So, as you attempt to navigate what can be challenging teen years, you might want to consider what opportunities your teens have to experience personal growth through participating in organized activities. What activities are your children involved in and how do you think they benefit from them?

Parental Monitoring Redefined

It's 10:00 p.m. . . . do you know where your children are? If you are old enough to remember that public address announcement, you probaby are raising a teenager by now. And you probably ask your child the same questions everytime he or she heads out the door, "Where are you going? Who are you going with? What will you be doing? When will you be home?" It's our job. We worry about their safety, yet at the same time, we understand their need for independence.

Research shows that teens who voluntarily communicate their activities to parents, allowing them to be aware of their activities and whereabouts, are less likley to be negatively influenced by peers or to get involved with problem behaviors such as substance abuse or delinquency.

Research also suggests that stringent parental control or tracking of teen activities is not the answer for preventing adolescent problems. Rather, its the quality of parent-teen communication and the strong emotional bond that make the difference.

Teens may be more likley to avoid the behaviors that parents disapprove of if they're worried about harming the good relationship and trust they already share with their parents. They also know they must be mature enough to make smart decisions in order to continue to have some freedom. If the teen has earned a parent's trust, they gain more independence.

This confirms that the parent-child bond that is built and maintained over a lifetime can be more powerful than parents suddenly enforcing strict rules and constant monitoring when their child becomes a teenager. And let's be honest, Mom and Dad, we can better enjoy those few quiet moments in the house when we feel good about our relationship with our teen!