Effective Parenting in the Pre-adolescent Years

We often hear mothers of young children, who choose to stay at home with their babies, say that they’ll go back to work when the kids get older.  When children begin to reach adolescence,  they are at the age where they want parents less, but actually need parents more.

Research is showing that as children start to become more independent,  they need love and attention just as much as when they were younger.

According to the U.S. Department of Education, “Parents often become less involved in the lives of their children as they enter the middle grades”. However, research shows that effective parents continue to build their relationship with their preadolescent, even as she or he grows and changes.

During this time, effective parents show love by spending time with their young teen, talking, and listening, and showing a genuine interest in them. These parents try to understand their child’s point of view and feelings. Effective parents also set clear limits that are right for the child's age, so their children stay safe, yet have some independence and freedom. Also, they help their growing children learn responsibility by completing household chores, finishing their homework on time, and helping others.

Not all young adolescents are difficult and rebellious. They vary “as much as do children in any other age group.” During early adolescence, as children are growing and changing, they’re also looking to their parents for a strong and caring relationship and guidance.

Source: Family Album Radio, Suzanna Smith, associate professor, Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, Cooperative Extension Service, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, University of Florida.

New Evidence in Adolescent Risk Taking

If you’ve ever been around a teenager, you’ve likely heard the line, “What were you thinking?” The thought process of teenagers has not only been a mystery to most of the parents and adults who live and work with teens, but has been the center of numerous studies trying to unravel the logic, or perceived lack thereof, of the teenage brain.

Conventional wisdom and years of research have pointed to the sense of invincibility teens seem to enjoy, or the lack of ability to reason due to incomplete brain development, as causes for high risk teen behaviors. However, according to a recent report from researchers at Cornell and Temple Universities, on many occasions teens may actually be more rational in their judgments than adults.

They explain that while adults don’t take the time to calculate the risks of certain behaviors because they are already intuitively aware of them and wouldn’t even consider taking such risks, teens do take the time to weigh the risks and benefits. Some teens seek the thrill of frisk taking and will choose the risk because they believe the short-term benefits out-weigh the long-term consequences - even when they completely understand those consequences. Other teens may not intend to take the risks, but do so on impulse or under the influence of emotion.

The researchers point out that intervention messages that warn teens or risks may actually backfire among the teens who are drawn to risk because such messages become appealing. Instead they recommend interventions that help youth develop more mature, intuitive reactions that help them to avoid taking risks altogether!