Peer Pressure and Risky Behaviors

As your child becomes a teenager, she will start spending a lot more time with her friends and a lot less time with you. This is normal. Teens with friends are physically and emotionally healthier than those without friends. Friends during the teenage years provide care, respect, and trust. Your child's friends are going through the same kinds of things as your teen. They understand each other, they can talk about their problems and figure out ways to solve them, together.

Teens choose their friends, because of similar interests, or to make themselves more popular. Their peers influence issues such as style and activities. The focus is on fitting in. Before deciding to do something, teens often ask themselves, "What will my friends think?" This does not mean their decisions are stupid. It means that there is a trade-off between doing what one knows is right, and being accepted by peers. It also means you and your teen may identify different consequences of a behavior and may value those consequences differently.

For example,

 Missing the coolest party on Saturday night is not a big deal to you, but it seems like the worst thing in the world to your teen.

 For you, having unprotected sex might potentially lead to pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection, while your teen may feel not having sex might mean losing her boyfriend. This doesn't mean you're not important. When parents monitor their teen's behavior, the teen is more likely to choose friends who participate in behaviors parents approve of. Parents need to remain close to their teens and make sure teens balance family time with the time they are spending with peers. Parents with a good relationship with their teen will have more influence than peers

Helping Your Child Deal with Peer Pressure

The issue of teen use of drugs and alcohol is alarming, but parents can and do make a difference in a teen’s decision to use or not. Family researchers say you have to establish a firm “no use” drug and alcohol family rules. Once the rule has been established, there are some ideas from researches at Brown University about how to help your child deal with peer pressure and drugs.

Responding to peer pressure in a kind but firm tone of voice is the best way to go. Parents can role-play scenarios with teens and come up with ideas for catch phrases to legitimize their reasons for not using drugs, such as “I’ve tried that before and I don’t like the taste” or, “No, that’s not my kind of stuff.”

You might consider other reasons referring to consequences, such as “The one time I tried it, I got really sick and threw up all over the place.” Talk with your teen to see what phrases he or she might find easiest to use.

Another tactic your teen might use is to change the subject, and, if push comes to shove, leave the scene. I repeatedly told my then-adolescent children that if they were ever in an uncomfortable situation, they could call for a ride home – no questions asked! The issue is not always outside influences, but those within the family. When teens don’t feel their families support them, they are at a greater risk for problems.

Keep lines of communication open, use active listening while conveying support and concern, and calmly reinforce a “no use” rule of drugs and alcohol. These are the most effective way to help adolescents and teens resist using and/or depending on drugs and alcohol.

Helping Your Child Deal With Peer Pressure

The issue of teen drug and alcohol use is alarming, but parents can and do make a difference in a teen’s decisions to use or not. Family researchers say you have to establish a firm “no use” drug and alcohol family rule. Once the rule has been established, here are some ideas from researchers at Brown University about how to help your child deal with peer pressure and drugs.

Responding to peer pressure in a kind but firm tone of voice is the best way to go. Parents can role-play scenarios with teens and come up with ideas for catch-phrases to legitimize the teen’s reasons for not using drugs, such as, “I’ve tried that before and I don’t like it.” Or “No, that’s not my kind of stuff.”

You might help your teen to consider other reasons that refer to consequences, such as “The one time I tried that, I got really sick and threw up all over the place.” Use any idea that will work for your teen and help him or her practice saying it. Another tactic your teen might use is to change the subject, and, if push comes to shove, leave the scene.

Peer pressure is not always the biggest enemy when it comes to substance abuse. The issue is not always outside influences, but those within the family. When teens don’t feel that their family supports them, they are at the greatest risk for problems.

Keep lines of communication open, use active listening while conveying support and concern, and calmly reinforce a “no use” view of drug and alcohol. These are the most effective ways to help teens resist using or depending on drugs and alcohol. Stay involved and stay connected with your teen.