The End of the Day

Walking in the door with your children at the end of the day can be a stressful time. Think about all the jobs you and your children have to do before bed . . . fix dinner, eat dinner, clean up after dinner, open the mail, do homework, feed the dog, run a load of laundry, put the trash by the road, get lunches ready for the next day, fold the laundry, look over school papers, etc.

Two of the most stressful times with children are the end of the day when you get home and when you are getting ready in the morning. These are times when things can spin out of control.

Often parents turn to TV or a DVD to entertain their children just to buy them some peace and quiet. Although this is ok occasionally, when it is over-used, we find that by the time our children are school-age, they have become nearly addicted to electronic screens.

Here’s an idea: Invest 5 minutes to save 10 minutes. Try to spend at least 5 minutes with your children right after you get home. Your child has actually missed you and needs to reconnect.

Instead of hitting the ground running, build “together time” into your evening. Get down on the floor and play a game with them, relax with your feet up and practice deep breathing exercises together, sit at the table together and play of game of 3 questions each.

Once your child has reconnected with you, they can feel more self-assured and can be on their own while you change clothes or start dinner. Remember to include them in household tasks – because they are an important part of the family and have a valuable role to play in the way the household functions. Give them each a fun job in the kitchen every evening so they can stay close to you while chores get done. You will find that 5 minutes can lead to much more than 10 minutes saved!

Single Parenting and the Time Crunch

If there is one thing single parents can get stressed about, it is lack of time to meet all their responsibilities. Most say they have too little time and too much to do. Learning to manage time is a problem for most people--not just single parents. Everyone has 24 hours a day; no one can get more. However, to have enough time to do the things that are important to us, we need to learn to control and manage our use of time. Start by making a list of your priorities and another list of things you spend time on that are not very important.

We can make a promise to ourselves to take control of our time. We can learn to cut out less important activities in order to free up time for more important ones. Sometimes events, other people, and our feelings keep us from accomplishing what we want. Everybody has a few of these barriers--barriers that take up time that we could be using to reach our goals. Typical time wasters include spending too much time on the telephone, spending too much time watching TV, not using short blocks of time constructively, "breaks" that turn into "vacations," and being impatient. Another example of a time waster is anything “high maintenance,” which can include morning routines, hair styles/make up, household clutter and simply having too much stuff, such as toys and clothes. A time waster and distraction for children is often television – so you may want a “no TV rule” on school mornings so they can stay focused.

Many people also have unrealistic time expectations and underestimate the amount of time it takes to accomplish a task, get the children up and ready for their day, time needed for homework, or to drive somewhere.

The next step is to decide if we can delegate tasks to others in the household. Even young children can help if we teach them how. Make a list of chores that your children are capable of doing and remember to add more responsibilities as they get older. For more information on time management for single parents, so to: http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/pdffiles/HE/HE33900.pdf.