Biting in the Toddler Years

Biting is a very common toddler behavior. Understanding why the young child bites is the first step in preventing biting as well as teaching the child alternatives to biting. The most common reasons and solutions for biting are:

The Experimental Biter is exploring their world and may place many items in their mouths (including other’s arms or fingers) to learn more about them. Teach the child that some thing can be bitten, like toys and food, and some things cannot be bitten, like people and animals.

The Teething Biter feels a lot of discomfort and a natural response is to apply pressure to their gums by biting on things. Provide this child with many toys he or she can bite down on.

The Social Biter bites when they are trying to interact with another child. They may not yet have developed the social skills to indicate, “I want to play with you.” Watch young children very closely to assist them in positive interactions with their friends.

The Frustrated Biter lacks the social and emotional skills to cope with their feelings in an acceptable way. Young children are often confronted with situations that are frustrating, like when a friend takes their toy or when daddy is unable to respond to their needs as quickly as they would like. Notice when a child is struggling with frustration and be ready to intervene. Provide words for the child to help him learn how to express his feelings, like “No, don’t push me.”

The Threatened Biter feels a sense of danger and may respond by biting as a self-defense. For some children biting is a way to try to gain a sense of control, especially when they are feeling overwhelmed with their environment. Provide your toddler with nurturing support to help him understand that he and his possessions are safe.

The Imitative Biter is just doing when he or she has learned. It’s not unusual for a child to observe a friend bite, then try it out for herself. Offer the child many examples of loving kind behavior. Never bit e a child to demonstrate how it feels to be bitten.

The Attention-Seeking Biter, like all children, love attention from adults. When parents give lots of attention for negative behavior, such as biting, children learn that biting is a good way to get attention. Provide lots of positive attention every day and minimize the negative attention to behavior such as biting.

The Power Biter is trying to satisfy his strong needs for independent and control. Provide many opportunities for your toddler to make simple choices throughout the day. It is also important to reinforce all the toddler’s attempts at positive social behavior each day.

Healthy From the Start

Feeding is how we help our children grow healthy and strong and it’s one of a parent’s most important jobs.  Here are some ideas from the American Academy of Pediatrics to help your child become a healthy eater: 

·         Meals are a time to connect with your child and support her overall development. Talk with your child during meals and don’t let her eat alone. You can help build strong family relationships by remembering that meals are more than food.

·         Create routines around mealtime. Routines make children feel loved and secure and they help children look forward to each meal. Establish regular meal and snack times beginning when your child is 9 -12 months old.

·         Offer 3 to 4 healthy food choices that your child likes at each meal. Research shows that children will choose a healthy diet when they are offered a selection of different healthy foods.

·         Don’t give up on new foods. You may have to offer your child a new food 10 to 15 times before he will eat it. Patience is the key!

·         Healthy eating and exercise go together. Make active play a part of everyday family life.

·         If you are concerned about your child’s weight or activity level, talk to your child’s pediatrician.

To learn more, visit www.zerotothree.org.

Talking with your Toddler

One of the most important things that your child must learn is how to talk. On average, a child will say his or her first word at 12 months of age, and may start speaking anywhere from 8–18 months of age. Between 18 months and 2 years, your toddler will speak in two-word “sentences.” By the time your child reaches 3 years, he will have a large vocabulary; and by age 6, he will know about 10,000 words.


Your child's language skills show how well his or her brain and thought processes are developing. Children also develop emotionally and build social skills through conversation. In fact, early language skills help children to adjust more easily to difficult circumstances. Toddlers with advanced language development are more likely to do well socially, academically, and behaviorally in later childhood.

How and when your child's language develops depends on the circumstance. For example, girls' vocabulary grows faster than boys'. Cautious toddlers who are more reserved may take more time to understand words before they begin to speak. Also, mothers and fathers may influence their children’s learning of language differently; when fathers talk with young children they are more likely to give directions, ask them “who, what, where, why, and when” questions for clarification, use imperatives, and refer to past events than mothers. These behaviors are likely to challenge children’s language development.

There are many ways you can help your child learn to talk. This can be done by finding natural opportunities in everyday situations to encourage communication. Here are a couple of suggestions to help your child's language skills to develop.

• From the moment your child is born, talk to your baby. You can call the child's name, and sing to him or her.

• Use “child-directed speech” (CDS). CDS involves speaking in a high-pitched voice, using short sentences, pausing between phrases, annunciating clearly, using expressive emotional tones, and repeating new words in different contexts.

• Talk to your baby during daily routines such as when you cuddle, feed, or change his or her diaper.

• Repeat the noises your baby makes, and encourage him or her to imitate the sounds you make.

• Call your baby's name often. Remember to point out objects to the baby and call them by name. Say to the baby, "See the chair; see the bird; see the truck."

• Refer to what you're doing during daily activities. For example, say, “It's time to change your diaper” or “We're eating breakfast.”

• Remember, your baby has to learn the names of as many objects, routines, actions, and emotions as possible. When your baby becomes a toddler, teach him or her names of emotions they feel. “You're angry because we can't play now. It's time for bed.” “I know the doggie scared you. The dog went outside.”

• When your child begins to talk, listen to him or her. Avoid correcting or using phrases like, "It's NOT 'goed', it's 'went'!” Instead, simply repeat what the child said, pronouncing the words correctly and using the correct grammar. Children make natural mistakes when they are learning grammar (such as putting “-ed” endings on all verbs in the past tense). They will learn the exceptions to the rules when they are ready and taught with patience.

• Avoid asking your child yes-or-no questions. For example, instead ask, “Do you want milk or juice?” In this way, your child can answer using names of the object or activity they choose.

• Help your child learn new words every day. Soon, s/he or she will begin to ask questions about objects (“What?”).

• Your child will also ask about cause and effect (“Why?”). Do not ignore his or her questions—instead, try to answer them. If you do not know the answers, tell your child that you do not know. Share the answers that you do know using simple words or a cause-and-effect explanation.

If you want your children to talk with you when they are older, remember to talk with them when they are young. Conversations are an important part of quality parent-child relationships. Warm communication that encourages your child's cognitive, social, and emotional skills lasts a lifetime.

Avoiding Food Fights

When you think of food fights, you might recall a raucous scene in the classic 1978 film, "Animal House." However when raising a toddler, "food fight" takes on a different meaning. What's a parent to do with a child who refuses to eat meat or only eats PB&J for a week?

It's common for toddlers to go through a "food jag" stage, eating the same thing at every meal, or refusing to eat anything that's red or orange. There are several reasons for this, so don't take it personally if your toddler has suddenly taken a dislike to your cooking.

First, it's completely normal for a child's appetite to vary from day to day. They usually eat only when hungry and stop when full. As long as they are growing well, they are probably getting the nutrients they need.

Second, some children are sensitive to food textures and tastes. They may not like the way something (such as hamburger or chicken) feels in their mouth. They may also dislike the way certains foods look, for example, spaghetti can look like worms to a toddler. As they grow, this sensitivity usually goes away and they learn to enjoy a wider variety of flavors, textures and colors.

Third, a food jag is one way that a toddler has some control over his or her world. He is asserting his independence. I suggest you relax and allow your toddler a little power in deciding what he or she will eat. Often, the less attention we give to frustrating behaviors, the faster our children move through such stages.

Be sure to offer nutritious foods suitable for a child's age, set regular meal and snack times, and serve foods that look appealing to young children. As a parent, you are responsible for deciding what foods are offered, and children are responsible for deciding whether to eat and how much to eat. What a liberating concept!

And when they choose not to eat, tell them, "That's okay; just sit and keep me company while I eat."