Apart, Not Broken: Dads learn, connect & Create

Are you a divorced or separated father? Do you want to move:

past fear, pain, & guilt? 

Create the life you want with your child? 

Manage your relationship with your ex-partner?  Be the creator of your future?

Contribute to ground breaking research that will help other fathers?

The University of Wisconsin Madison This program is being evaluated through the University of Wisconsin, Madison as part of the doctoral program  of Shelly D. Mahon.  Please click on the link below to get more information or sign up.  Once you fill out the registration form you will be asked to: 

1.      Respond to the informed consent form and brief survey. Receipt of your consent form indicates that you read the consent form and are agreeing to participate in the program.

2.      Complete the short pre-program survey. You will be asked to complete this survey again at the end of the program.

Participating fathers who complete the program will receive a certificate of completion, a $25.00 Amazon gift card, and be entered to win an iPad! 

Learn: Listen to fathers' real experiences and insights. Have access to information and recommendations that can make a measurable difference in adjusting and parenting after separation or divorce. 

Connect: Join an online community of fathers. Learn to use creative strategies to connect with your child and manage your relationship with your ex-partner.

Create: Feel powerful in your ability to be the dad YOU want to be. Create the relationship YOU want with your child by building on your existing strengths, starting new traditions, and creating lasting memories.

This program is equipped with:

o    Videos reflecting the real life experiences of other divorced fathers;

o    A discussion forum for you to connect and share with other fathers;

o    Online tools for sharing photos, calendars, communicating & more; 

o    Current and concise information about divorce & parenting after divorce;

o    Engaging activities for you to enjoy with your child; and

o    Additional resources for you to build your own parenting toolkit.

This innovative, multi-media program is:

o    Free: No Charge!

o    Confidential: Private, online support education program

o    Efficient: Brief, 12-week series of ~30 minute sessions

o    Flexible: Spend as much time as you want on the aspects that fit your needs

o    Convenient: Available 24/7, worldwide, anywhere with an Internet connection

o    Ongoing: Starts when you register!

To register: https://uwmadison.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_3rNAh27uJm1oQq8

Co-parenting and Father Involvement

About half of all U.S. children will live apart from their fathers some time during their childhood because their parents have divorced or separated. While some nonresidential fathers do not maintain contact with their child, others are able to continue to be a part of the child’s life. A very important factor in whether a father remains involved seems to be how the mother and father work out their co-parenting relationship after they split up. Fathers may be involved in decisions about the child, have frequent contact, and be involved in warm and supportive relationships with their children – or they may be fairly distant or not involved at all.

A recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family looked at co-parenting relationships between custodial mothers and fathers living apart from their biological children. Using data collected from a national sample of children and custodial mothers, the researchers found that cooperative co-parenting is fairly uncommon: 66% of mothers say that the father has no influence over childrearing and 58% say that they get no help from the father in childrearing.

These results suggest that many parents may find it difficult or even impossible to engage in cooperative co-parenting after separation. However, when they can cooperate, fathers are able to have more frequent contact with their children and a more trusting and supportive relationship, confirming other research that finds father involvement has many positive outcomes for children.

Classes for divorcing couples (or couples with children who never married) can help co-parents to work together for the future of their children. For more information: http://hillsboroughfcs.ifas.ufl.edu/DivorceClasses.html.

Hey Daddy - Read to Me!

I have very fond memories of my father on Sunday morning reading the comics out loud to us. All four of us would gather up on the couch, finding our favorite place on the back of the couch, on Dad’s lap, snuggled by his side, or balancing on the armrest. We were all squeezed in together, still wearing our footie pajamas.

He would “read” the comics to us. His idea of reading was to create long, elaborate stories that probably had nothing to do with the actual comic. But the stories were always funny and the couch was always warm. It was his way of showing us his love. Our lives were enriched because of those Sunday mornings.

One of the best and least expensive gifts fathers can give their children is the gift of reading. Many years of research show that a fathers’ reading to his children increases their success in school and later in life.

Our children “learn to read” well before their formal education begins. Many have a favorite book or story that has been read to them so, so many times. Even when we have read that book twenty times already in one day, they want it read to them again. They know the book by heart. They may even “read” the story to their stuffed animal audience. They correct us if we try to hurry through or modify the story - I admit I tried it more than once. Some even pick up a magazine and begin to “read” aloud a story that exists in their imagination. What smart children!

Fathers – it’s your duty and honor to help give your children a love for reading. Your children watch your every move – let them catch you reading.

Read the sports page, the gardening articles, the comic strips, or the latest car report to them. Sure, they may not understand every word, but they will see the excitement on your face and hear it in your voice and begin to connect that joy to reading. Visit your local library with your children and pick out a couple of books you will read together each week. Write a story together. Have your children make up a story while you write it down, then read it back to them and illustrate as you go.

Thanks, Dad!

Please share your stories of reading in the comment section.