Got Balance?

Looking for a healthier, happier, more satisfied life? 

Check out my Free “Life Balance” Workshop On-line

This 30-minute, five-part series on the Basics of Balancing Work and Family is an over-view of ideas and strategies to help you achieve a balance with your work, personal and family life.The workshop, offered by the University of Florida/Hillsborough County Extension Service, includes a handout to help you personalize the information and develop a satisfying life plan that fits you.

Visit us at: http://hillsboroughfcs.ifas.ufl.edu/BalancingSeries.html

Resolution for the New Year

If you make New Year’s Resolutions, you might want to think about making a resolution to eat breakfast if you don’t already do this every morning. Busy families especially need to add this to their list of healthy habits.

It can seem as if mornings just fly by when rushing to get ready for work and school. Eating breakfast can easily be forgotten or neglected on busy mornings. However, breakfast is a very important meal for you and your family.

Eating a morning meal has many health benefits. It is important to refuel your body after not eating for many hours during the night. Breakfast provides the glucose that is the primary energy source for the body and the brain. The American Dietetic Association states the breakfast skippers often feel tired, restless, or irritable in the morning. The brain’s functions are very sensitive to changing glucose levels. Research has also shown that missing this meal diminishes the mental performance of children, young adults, and the elderly.

Eating breakfast may also help in weight management because it reduces hunger and prevents eating binges. People who eat a daily breakfast are far less likely to become obese, compared to those who skip the first meal of the day, according to one study by the Harvard Medical School.

So, make a New Year’s Resolution and start off your day on the right foot. Make sure that breakfast is included in your family’s routine. Simple meals such as whole-grain cereals, fresh fruits, and eggs can be prepared easily and quickly. These kinds of foods also provide energy and many nutrients your family need to stay healthy.

Being with the In-laws at Holiday Time

Did somebody forget to tell you that when you married the person - you married the family? You don’t have to have seen the movie series “Meet the Parents” to know what challenges may lie ahead. The holiday season usually involves extended and in-law family members getting together and this can sometimes cause conflict.

Unfortunately for some, we can’t control the way our in-laws behave towards us, but we can control the way we react. Some family therapists offer the following tips. First, identify the issue. Are your in-laws unreasonable or are you being impatient?

Second, regulate your reactions. Take a deep breath when necessary and control your temper in heated situations.

Third, look for compromising solutions. Don’t be a victim, but be willing to sacrifice for the sake of maintaining peace. You don’t always have to be right and you don’t always have to have the last word.

Finally, act rather than react. Prepare yourself for possible conflict and decide ahead of time how you will react or respond. Remember to be control of your actions and words – even if the in-laws are not!

Renowned marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman says that when dealing with conflict with the in-laws, it’s important to put your spouse first and not to tolerate any contempt toward your spouse from your parents. This simple act set a precedent that your marriage cannot be divided. Discuss issues with your spouse prior to visits with the in-laws to ensure that you will always be on the same page. Beware making critical comments, however, after all, these people you may be complaining about are deeply connected to the person you love.

If you and your spouse actively listen to each other and tend to your relationship (in preparation of dealing with conflict as a team,) you will be more likely to become stronger than to be broken down.

Take Care of Yourself During the Holidays

Although the winter holiday season should be a time of enjoyment, the events associated with the season are often the cause of stress.

When we’re feeling stressed we’re much more likely to neglect our needs, but that is when we need to take care of ourselves the most! Making sure that we eat healthy foods, get plenty of rest, exercise, and take time out for relaxing activities helps bolster us and renews our physical and emotional resources.

During the holidays it is tempting to eat too much (and the wrong kinds of foods), drink too much alcohol, skip the exercise, and stay up too late. Although a little indulgence is okay, forgetting to take care of ourselves day after day leaves us physically and emotionally drained, and unable to handle the stressors that will come our way.

If you are up late one night because of a party or gift-wrapping session, make sure that you go to bed early the next night. Try to increase your physical activity by going walking after meals, and taking stairs rather than elevators. Even walking in the mall can be a great source of exercise! If you enjoy trying all of the different goodies at a party, make sure to just try a little bit of each. Then focus on the healthier foods, such as vegetables, fruits, whole grains and lean meats.

You may also want to ask yourself if you are truly hungry, or simply eating because the food is there. Finally, try to take some time out for yourself, even if it’s only a few minutes while you’re lying in bed in the morning. Hot baths or showers are relaxing, reading can be a great escape, and some people find meditation helpful. Everyone is different, so you will need to figure out what sort of activity provides a good way for you to take a break and decompress.

Dinner Table Conversation Starters

Holiday family gatherings are a great opportunity to take time to share, talk and eat together. Of course, the holidays aren't the only occasion to enjoy lively conversation, so keep the family meal time a tradition in your household. Make it a goal to eat together as a family at least four times a week. Here are ideas for conversation starters. Pick a topic, enjoy quality time together and take the time to learn from and appreciate each other.
Name one thing that you would like to do this weekend.
If your picture were in the paper today, what would the caption say?
If you could be any type of animal, what would it be and why?
What is your favorite family tradition?
What family tradition would you like for us to start?
Talk about two things that your friends’ families do differently from ours.
Name one thing you appreciate about the person sitting on your right.
What outside activity could we do together as a family today?
What is the most interesting news you heard this week?
If you could be president, what is the first thing you would do?
What would you like to do after you finish high school?
What was the nicest thing you did for someone this week?
Tell us about your favorite food without using the name.
If you could have a super-power, what would it be?
If our family could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would you like to have? Why?
If we had a time machine, when and where would you like to visit?
If you could participate in any event in the Olympics, which event would it be? Why?
Tell us about your favorite part of the day.
If you could invite someone to dinner who would it be? Why?
If we had no electricity, what would our day be like?
If we were to write a family goal for this week, what would it be? What could we accomplish?
How could we as a family help others in our community?
Tell us a funny joke or story.

Holiday Safety at Grandma and Grandpa's House

If Grandma and Grandpa do not usually have young children in the home, it is likely that their home isn't childproofed. In addition to not having safety locks on cabinets, gates on stairs, or covers on electrical outlets, they may also have prescription medications that aren't in a child resistant container.


Things to be especially watchful for, and which you may want to be mindful of when visiting during the holidays, include:

• If there is a pool, does it have a fence? Can the child get to the area where the pool is located?

• Are there guns in the house? Are they stored unloaded or locked in a box with bullets locked separately?

• Are medications, poisons and household cleaners out of reach? What needs to be removed, locked up or put out of reach?

• If they have a pet, do you need to take special precautions to keep children safe?

• Are there gates on the stairs? Do you need to bring a portable gate?

• How can you remove small objects, such as nuts or candy dishes so young children cannot reach them?

• Can you remove breakable objects or put them out of reach of the children?

• Are there holiday decorations, such as lights, trees, plants, artificial snow or candles that could be potentially harmful to children? What can you do to make the environment safer for your child?

• Remember that holidays can be stressful for some children. Traveling, visiting family, a disruption of the regular routine, excessive noise and getting presents can increase your child’s stress levels. Try to maintain your child’s usually routines such as sleep and nap schedules and meal times. Remember to spend plenty of one-on-one time with your children so you both can enjoy the holidays. Take along indoor and outdoor games, activities and their favorite snacks for them.

Parents Give Teens Alcohol

The discussion about the drinking age comes up with some frequency in my classes for parents with adolescents and teens. It can be a challenge that many parents face. Yet, one recent study found that parents are in fact the source of alcohol for many teens today.


Using surveys of sixth, seventh and eighth graders from a middle school in urban Chicago, researchers from the University of Minnesota and the University of Florida studied alcohol use and sources of alcohol among these young teens. It’s common to hear about kids with fake ID’s who have been able to purchase alcohol and get into clubs, or older siblings and neighbors who provide alcohol to younger children. However, according to this study, social sources including family and friends were the most likely source of alcohol for these underage drinkers. In addition, parents were the primary source of alcohol to the middle school students in this study.

By the time they were in 8th grade, these students had increased their access to other sources, and were “taking alcohol from home, and getting alcohol from other adults, individuals under 21, and commercial sources”.

The researchers concluded that their findings reinforce the importance of educating parents about the impacts of providing alcohol to their children and their children’s friends. They recommended that parents who consume alcohol should be vigilant about locking up or monitoring alcohol in their homes. They also suggest that parents who provide their children with alcohol for special occasions or religious events should consider the subsequent effects, including increased risk behaviors associated with early acceptance of alcohol.

So if you’re considering supplying (or already supply) alcohol to your underage teens and their friends, you might want to consider the consequences.